so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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