Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
