They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize