How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize