oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
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