i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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