she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
