upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
try to milk me bitch
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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