wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
