Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
