I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
