if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's blow job season.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize