he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
we're making bets on your personal life
No I am not eating basil off your cock
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
