Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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