Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
