i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Sober January is a disaster.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
