yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
