he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
