So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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