I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Randomize
