But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
