She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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