I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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