would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
