problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
