why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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