I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
