Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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