she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
