I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
