And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
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he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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