I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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