I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
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just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
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I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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