Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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