...so i touched it.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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