If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize