Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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