you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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