I accidentally burped into my bong.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
