Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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