you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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