Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
