I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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