I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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