ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize