yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
