I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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