Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
