did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
