Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
i need some magic done to my vagina
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
