My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
