I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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