Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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