Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
