it's too hot outside to masturbate.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
