i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
