I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
